surviving rape vs. raped and murdered

i watched 'dead man walking' yesterday and it got me thinking about rape and it's effects on people. people are changed completely after rape. if someone survives it, alot of times they are blamed for it. but if you are raped and murdered, you are purely the victim and no one talks about it ever being blamed on the victim. everyone jumps on the bandwagon of "kill the murdering rapist." no one seems to treat the crime fairly if you've survived it. i wonder why this is? is it because to human minds raping AND murdering someone is a higher degree of crime? or is it maybe because people have subconscious respect for the dead that they wouldn't bad-mouth them and treat them like their living counterparts? why is it that when a teen is raped, her mother blames her, but if she's raped and MURDERED her mother blames and wants the blood of the killer? this doesn't make sense to me. i hear fellow survivors talk about how they're glad that they at least survived, but is it really better? if i had been murdered when i was raped (choose any rape, there are so many!), i wouldn't have the severe ptsd, i wouldn't be so severely depressed, i wouldn't be miserable, my mother would've wanted him dead or imprisoned, my siblings would've mourned me. i would've been important...so why is it these victims are more important than those of us that were unlucky enough to live through it? why? i don't understand.