Venting, Poetry, & Advice
Jan. 8th, 2007 10:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gothicotterI am so fucking sick of this shit.
You need to listen. I feel like I'm standing in a room full of people & I'm trapped inside a transparent sound-proof booth screaming at the top of my lungs for you to look my way & you are too fucking blind to see me pounding my bloodied fists against the panes.
Why do people say one thing & do another? They make me believe I am a human being & then they treat me like a fucking piece of shit. So, which is it? Am I an equal, a Lady, or am I a fucking Whore that can be kicked around & used however one chooses to use me? Why make statements or "promises" & then just act like they were never even uttered? If you promise to spend time with me, at least make a noticeable effort! Don't sit there & tell me that you love me & love spending time with me, & then just ignore me. What makes you think that I appreciate hypocritical statements in leu of failed effort? I'd rather you outright lie to me then give me hope & smash it all to pieces!
And what the hell is up with the two-faced bullshit? If you aren't my friend, then don't pretend to be one! If you really want to harm me & make me hurt & miserable, then just fucking do it & don't be all nice & sweet to my face & then spread crap behind my back! Stop being a coward. If you don't like me, then fucking tell me! I've finally got you figured out. You know, I know that you've lied to my face! What? You think that I am too stupid to know? You forget I have my sources too. I may be young & naive, but I do have people that truly care about me & really want to take care of me. They will protect me. They are my eyes and ears as I am for them as well. Don't expect me to just be there when you need me if you treat me that way, because I WILL NOT BE THERE. Fuck you & your back-stabbing crap! Stop sabotaging my life! Take your jealousy & get the hell out of my life! It's not my fault that I work hard to get what I have! It's not my fault that your life is the way it is! Your choices are completely your fault, not mine! Go be with your psuedogirlfriend & forget the fact that I stood behind you & stood up for you when other people said crap about you.
Forget Me
Forget the fact that I worshipped the ground you walked on
& would do anything in my power to make you smile as best I can.
Forget that I loved you wholeheartedly
& was willing to be there for you every step of the way.
Forget the fact that when you needed help I didn't turn you away.
I dropped everything to come to your aide,
even if that meant spending my last dime to help.
Forget the many nights I sacrificed on my days off
to keep you company throughout your shift.
Forget my entire weekend that I spent
by your side taking care of you.
Forget that I listened to what you had to say
& didn't go out & have fun as an adult.
Forget that I stayed with your kids
so you could go out & party.
Forget that I would check on you
& make sure you were alright.
Forget that I confided in you.
Forget that I misplaced my trust in you.
I will never trust you again.
Forget that I got angry for you
when you told me what he did.
I wanted to kill him.
Forget that when you dumped me
I still was your faithful friend.
Forget that I trusted you enough
to tell you about my new love.
Forget that I ignored the warning signs
that you were pitting me against my enemy.
I didn't believe it,
but then I tested you,
& you failed.
I will never trust you again.
Why do you hate me so much? What have I done to hurt you? I'm sorry that the love of your life left you. I'm sorry that you are so miserable with a husband that adores you & wonderful children. I'm sorry that you're overweight & have plenty to eat. I'm sorry you have land & a place to live on it. I'm sorry that you have two vehicles that are not wrecked. I'm sorry that you have a mother who loves you & a stepdaddy who adores you. I'm sorry that all of your family lives in close proximity to you. I'm sorry that I was born in the late eighties & you weren't. I'm sorry that I've got my diploma & you don't. I've offered sincerily to help you study for your GED, but you keep refusing the help. I'm sorry that you can't go anywhere in your current state of educational crap & financial instability. I'm sorry for all these things that are NOT MY FAULT!
Stop blaming me. Blaming me, getting me canned, & just generally hurting me will not change your station in life. Only you can do that.
You need to listen. I feel like I'm standing in a room full of people & I'm trapped inside a transparent sound-proof booth screaming at the top of my lungs for you to look my way & you are too fucking blind to see me pounding my bloodied fists against the panes.
Why do people say one thing & do another? They make me believe I am a human being & then they treat me like a fucking piece of shit. So, which is it? Am I an equal, a Lady, or am I a fucking Whore that can be kicked around & used however one chooses to use me? Why make statements or "promises" & then just act like they were never even uttered? If you promise to spend time with me, at least make a noticeable effort! Don't sit there & tell me that you love me & love spending time with me, & then just ignore me. What makes you think that I appreciate hypocritical statements in leu of failed effort? I'd rather you outright lie to me then give me hope & smash it all to pieces!
And what the hell is up with the two-faced bullshit? If you aren't my friend, then don't pretend to be one! If you really want to harm me & make me hurt & miserable, then just fucking do it & don't be all nice & sweet to my face & then spread crap behind my back! Stop being a coward. If you don't like me, then fucking tell me! I've finally got you figured out. You know, I know that you've lied to my face! What? You think that I am too stupid to know? You forget I have my sources too. I may be young & naive, but I do have people that truly care about me & really want to take care of me. They will protect me. They are my eyes and ears as I am for them as well. Don't expect me to just be there when you need me if you treat me that way, because I WILL NOT BE THERE. Fuck you & your back-stabbing crap! Stop sabotaging my life! Take your jealousy & get the hell out of my life! It's not my fault that I work hard to get what I have! It's not my fault that your life is the way it is! Your choices are completely your fault, not mine! Go be with your psuedogirlfriend & forget the fact that I stood behind you & stood up for you when other people said crap about you.
Forget Me
Forget the fact that I worshipped the ground you walked on
& would do anything in my power to make you smile as best I can.
Forget that I loved you wholeheartedly
& was willing to be there for you every step of the way.
Forget the fact that when you needed help I didn't turn you away.
I dropped everything to come to your aide,
even if that meant spending my last dime to help.
Forget the many nights I sacrificed on my days off
to keep you company throughout your shift.
Forget my entire weekend that I spent
by your side taking care of you.
Forget that I listened to what you had to say
& didn't go out & have fun as an adult.
Forget that I stayed with your kids
so you could go out & party.
Forget that I would check on you
& make sure you were alright.
Forget that I confided in you.
Forget that I misplaced my trust in you.
I will never trust you again.
Forget that I got angry for you
when you told me what he did.
I wanted to kill him.
Forget that when you dumped me
I still was your faithful friend.
Forget that I trusted you enough
to tell you about my new love.
Forget that I ignored the warning signs
that you were pitting me against my enemy.
I didn't believe it,
but then I tested you,
& you failed.
I will never trust you again.
Why do you hate me so much? What have I done to hurt you? I'm sorry that the love of your life left you. I'm sorry that you are so miserable with a husband that adores you & wonderful children. I'm sorry that you're overweight & have plenty to eat. I'm sorry you have land & a place to live on it. I'm sorry that you have two vehicles that are not wrecked. I'm sorry that you have a mother who loves you & a stepdaddy who adores you. I'm sorry that all of your family lives in close proximity to you. I'm sorry that I was born in the late eighties & you weren't. I'm sorry that I've got my diploma & you don't. I've offered sincerily to help you study for your GED, but you keep refusing the help. I'm sorry that you can't go anywhere in your current state of educational crap & financial instability. I'm sorry for all these things that are NOT MY FAULT!
Stop blaming me. Blaming me, getting me canned, & just generally hurting me will not change your station in life. Only you can do that.
